You Will Not Marry That Man
Filed Under Secrets | 38 Comments
Back in the olden days there was a conflict called the Vietnam War. In 1966 the love of my life had been drafted. We were both very young and very much in love. My parents wanted me to stop seeing him because “all you’ll get is pain,” because he was going away. They didn’t get it. I was in love with this man who had very recently been a boy. I was preparing for college in the fall and he was going away to war. It didn’t seem right and it didn’t seem fair.
He asked me to marry him and wait for him. I said I’d do anything he wanted. I would have tossed myself on a spiked fence for him. He was kind to me and he was respectful – something I had never had at home.
I told my parents we were getting married.
“You are NOT getting married,” I was told.
“I AM getting married,” I said.
In order not to bore you, I won’t repeat all the times they said and I said the same thing over and over.
“Go to your room,” I was told.
I went to my room and didn’t come out for 4 days. I was really hungry. All I’d had for 4 days was water out of the bathroom tap.
I went to the kitchen and said, “I’m hungry AND I’m going to get married.”
They just looked away. I could barely hear, “we will not permit you to marry THAT man. We have contacted the priest and he will not marry you in the church.”
I said, “fine, I’ll get married in his church.”
The look of total shock came across my mother’s face as she realized it was not only possible but quite probable that I was serious. I left that afternoon and organized a wedding at the church. We didn’t have any money but we’d be married and that’s all we wanted.
Eventually my mother couldn’t bear the thought of her daughter being married away from “our” church and the small family wedding was planned in great haste because my love was due to leave for the Army soon.
Now we’re getting to SECRET #2.
The wedding went as planned – the center aisle in the church seemed 2 miles long and nearly every step my dad said, “it’s not too late, chicken, we can turn around.” I kept walking. We said our “I dos” and went to the reception. Someone started feeding me rum and coke and it was really good. I’d never been a drinker before.
I kept drinking.
…and drinking
Til finally my mother said we should leave on our honeymoon. We weren’t going far, only to Massachusetts, but it seemed like a long way to us. Our first night though was at a motel in town.
We got there, he carried me over the threshhold and we were inside. I was VERY drunk. I was waste of space to be honest. I didn’t care. I was married. I was a Mrs. and nobody could tell me what to do ever again.
I didn’t feel so well. My brand new husband wanted to try out the bride.
I got my white silky gown and toothbrush and went to the bathroom. I don’t know what happened in that bathroom but once I locked the door I realized I was alone in the world. Yes I had a husband but he was leaving me. What had I done? To him? To me? I’m sure it was the booze taking hold but I decided if I never went out of the room we wouldn’t REALLY be married.
He knocked on the door, “Are you nearly ready” he asked?
“No. Go away. I don’t like you any more,” I said.
“Don’t be silly, come on out,” he begged.
“No, I’m not coming out. I’ve made a big mistake,” I cried.
“It’s not a mistake, I love you and we just got married.”
“No, your mother wears Army boots and you tricked me,” I promise this is what I said.
“Your drunk, it’s ok, come on out.”
This went for 2 hours. I was still very drunk and was sitting on the bathroom floor crying. He finally came to the door and said that it was fine if I didn’t want to be married to him and it was fine if I wanted an anullment, but would I PLEASE COME OUT.
Slowly I opened the door and crawled out on my hands and knees (I couldn’t stand up). The wonderful man I married got on his hands and knees and kissed my forehead and said, “You are the silliest woman I’ve ever known.” I laughed and we talked and I decided that maybe being married to him was a good thing after all.
We had a lovely 4 day honeymoon and then he left for boot camp. I saw him for a weekend before he shipped out to Vietnam. That was the last time I saw him.
Coming out of the bathroom was a good thing.
Comments
38 Comments so far
I don’t often simply think ‘wow’ after reading a post.
Wow.
People go life times without ever knowing the kind of love you wrote about. I hope someday I can tell a story about such a great love without such a sad ending. Thank you for sharing your story.
what a wonderful story. sorry u lost him in the war
omg, is this a real story. i really don’t know what to say. bittersweet i’d have to say. awww, i feel like crying.
What a lovely story, I love the way it is written, it touched my heart. Thanks very much.
Sad.Wow.
I loved your story. Like you, I’m so very glad you came out of the bathroom. I’m more than sad that you didn’t see your husband gain, but you at least have a wonderful memory. Thank you for sharing it
May I share it with a group that i am a member of?
Wow what a story. Very touching.
OMG you made me cry so bad
Oh my gracious thanks for sharing this (and for coming out of the bathroom). I just cried my sockets out.
You just broke my heart.
Wow…
Thank you so much for sharing. That was beautiful and touching, and he’s a hero.
Good Luck to You!
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That story was very sad. He died in Vietnam?
aww that was such a cute story.
made me all misty eyed too.
My heart hurts for you.
i’m so sorry. i’m glad you came out of the bathroom. at least he left knowing he had a beutiful wife who loved him and was waiting for him.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don’t add up — James Magary
This sad, funny and very beautiful story earns you (my) forgiveness for the bad vote.
wow. that is absolutely the saddest, most beautiful, story i have ever read. if it is truth, i am sorry that you lost him, but i am so happy that you got to love such a wonderful man.
Thank you for this.
This is fucked.
Wow! That was very touching. Sad but all too real for many a bride.
Did he die in Vietnam?
Beautiful. I cried, how dare you throw that in at the end.
I’m glad you came out of the bathroom too.
This is why I love stumbleupon, it brings me to these little treasures hidden away in the depths of the internet.
I recently married a Marine, we’ve been apart for way more than half the time we’ve been together. He’s away right now and sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing. Did we get married too fast? Are we just young and stupid? But the fact of the matter is that I love him, and the thought of being without him is too painful for words. And that overcomes any fear I may have for the future.
You have just given hope to those who have lost their lovers in the recent wars.
Thank you
Goodness… Like you, I married very young to a man whom I love, and neither of our familys approved. But every day Im thankful for him, and this shows how quickly someone can be taken away from you. Being a “tough” woman from west virginia, crying is not something I do often but this story did make me cry. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
As an army wife myself, my biggest fear is losing my husband to the war.
I’m so sorry you had to go through losing yours. I can only imagine the pain you must have gone through.
my heart goes out to you. thank you for sharing you story.
What a shit story. Write your thoughts/memories more eloquantly.
ok i know people are going to hate me, but oh my god you acted like a stupid bratty child with your parents! and i went through the same thing. Im awfully sorry for your loss though. I like you got married young and my husband went to war twice, lucky for me he came back. But oh my god i cant get past the whole 4 day fast! what the hell was that about?!
I am crying, empathetic, and speechless – a first for me.
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Beautiful. To the people that keep asking if he died, what do you think? You think man back then would abandon his beautiful new wife on purpose?
Wow….engaged to a sailor….I’m going to share this with him. Madam you just told the best and most heartbreaking story I’ve ever heard.
I understand that Love is a beautiful thing that completely blind a man from the truth.
And pain is necessary in a Marriage relationship if it is going to be both person getting Marry to share the pain and hardship of that life together in one place.
However, I do not see it necessary, if the life of marriage is done in purpose of staying apart from one another. That is what I do not see any reason for getting marry in.
people marry for different reason that is a fact. But not every fact is truth. therefore I believe the truth about Marry is to experience and teach what you have had experience in.
To me its the most saddest mistake of life, knowing what is going to happen is bad or sad and still go for it as if nothing good going to happen for you is the saddest story I have ever heard.
this is truth because I believed that there is always a better Future, the future is always better than the passed, and you can enjoy the future with PATIENCE.